I’ve never been good at following through with my goals. Unfortunately I am one of those people who are crazy determined to accomplish something one day and the next day will be chasing after another dream, leaving the old ones on a never ending to do list. I started this blog back in September 2014 and kept telling myself “I don’t have time to perfect this blog to what I want. I’ll do it over Thanksgiving break”. Thanksgiving break passed in a blink of an eye and I thought “okay, I’ll have this blog done before my trip”. Well, surprisingly I did finish Coffee and Sundays to what it is now! I had set the goal to complete my blog and publicly share it. But I didn’t.
I’ve come to realize my biggest flaw, and possibly fear, is judgement. Fearing others’ judgement has prevented me from living my life to fullest in many ways. For example, Coffee and Sundays was a sudden inspiration for me. I was inspired by others’ blogs and passions and I wanted to share my own. However, at the completion of my blog I was terrified of sharing it with others. I can count the number of people I’ve shown my blog to on one hand. I tend to put words into people’s mouth before they can open it. The moment I do or say something, I’m already thinking “they’re criticizing me, they think I’m stupid”. So what happens when I post an entire blog for the internet to see. At first I was postponing posting and sharing my blog because I didn’t have the camera equipment I wanted. If I couldn’t have the quality I wanted, why make a blog at all. But deep down I knew I was more so afraid of what people would think of my blog, or me blogging for that matter. It’s quite terrifying and it’s definitely something that leaves me feeling very vulnerable. But I guess that sets my first goal for the year.
1. Do what I want and be proud of it.
There has been a quote stuck in my mind: do more of what makes you happy. It’s such a good quote to live by I think. Satisfying others won’t make me happy. Trying to fit in isn’t going to make me happy. Doing what I want will make me happy. If that means I want to take a bunch of pictures of my food in public with others judging me, then so be it. If that means I want to crawl into bed and watch Netflix all day, then I’ll do it! In the end of the day, if I feel happy with myself and who I am then I have a lived a successful day of my life.
Overcoming my issue with people judging me is my biggest goal for this year, but here are a couple of others that I won’t go to deep into.
2. Write more on Coffee and Sundays.
3. Travel, explore, and enjoy.
4. Relax and meditate.
5. Begin yoga and starting eating more healthy. No more cookies and ice cream! (I say with 2 tubs of ice cream in the fridge and 4 boxes of holiday Pillsbury sugar cookies).
6. Less videos and more reading.
It’s a short list, but I think it’ll suffice. I am very excited for 2015 and I can already see it’s going to be quite the journey. I cannot wait to share my experiences with you all on Coffee and Sundays.